Voluntarily Disoriented

There could be or could not be a possible explanation to whatever occurs in our lives. Most of us had planned big for the future (just planned) and therefore those plans inevitably came crashing to the ground, its better for the delusions of grandeur to end as early as possible, but then who is to blame for as humans cannot help their urge to find an explanation to their failures rather than moving on, yeah social acceptance is a bitch, life would have been such a breeze without it or is it that the majority of our species has fallen for such a fallacy. We can live without approval from each other, right? Sadly, I cannot answer this for you, as you have to answer this for yourself, is it worth going through all that suffering, trauma and mental agony just because you haven’t proved your mettle, what if you did? You could have the rest of your life elapsed in false pride, that would be the bargain.

We have devised our present world in such a manner that a majority of us would never be able to see, decipher or appreciate the word “satisfaction” (I am personally very much dubious of the word). This should not be misconstrued as an attempt on ranting, believe me I have always found better ways of expressing my disappointment(s) in life. Pawning our lives for small bits of guised bliss and empty smiles, doesn’t it somehow fits the definition of a disguised purgatory? Is that what we are leading ourselves into and pushing 'humanity' on the verge of extinction, a huge clan of soulless bastards without a driving force or an objective, no bigger picture to be foreseen.

Now I don’t see a reason to cuss about it! Failure, in itself is not a bad thing but relenting and succumbing to it is but what we do is sulk and crave for empathy of our fellow-sapiens. Yes that is what the world has come to, where there is no sign of equivalence in our emotional and physical worlds, we run perplexed after words which hold no actual meaning, believe me! they wouldn’t have, even after devoting so much of time, working so extensively you would find yourself ending up with nothing but a disoriented life because you never had lucidity in your goals to begin with. Most of the people I know follow the sheep-herd and would happily lead their life in ignorance without even questioning the purpose of their existence, not their fault exactly, conformism is fed to us as milk to toddlers and conventionalities are etched on the wet mortar of tender hearts.

So, what could be the solution to such an affair? Tragicomically, I suffer with the same dilemmas (or delusions) as everyone does but yes, juxtapose I’m also aware something is not right like why aren’t we ever able to hit the Promised Land? The things we fear are mere equivalents of the monsters under our bed whose existence we were made to believe in our pre-adolescence in order to coerce discipline and the thing was/is that they have always only been in our head. Just for once question and seek answers to the purpose of your existence and "do not just exist but live".

Thou Shall Not Be Rational!

And there I was trying to get some sleep but something did not let me doze, conflicting thoughts maybe, an omnipresent fear of the dark(it’s always better to acknowledge your fears, at least you would know what you are actually afraid of and the root causes could be explored for a start). We always fear what we cannot see or things beyond our comprehension always make us uncomfortable. Just like the concept of a supernatural being such as God who is to govern us in his elusive ways and he is to be feared. Now let me put it this way, why is something/someone who is supposed to be the epitome of all the positive energy (or could we use brand ambassador?) never tried to make a public appearance and then it is backed by such preposterous quotes as –“Blessed are those who believe without demanding a proof”, many might misconstrue the point I’m trying to make, my request would be to consider it with an open mind. When we have been blessed with a curious mind and the art of deducing answers to our problems, why is analyzing facts associated with faith considered a subject of taboo, instead we are to presume that the person in question is to be feared, now isn’t it the actual definition of monarchy, where it is considered a crime to question the authority of the monarch, the only difference being, here it is done under the name of blasphemy.

Most of our asinine fears are derived from myths and according to my opinion, so is religion. Myths have always been used by the abhorrent (humans) to manipulate the weaker minds from the primordial times. These people were the ones who used it to create a cynical universe that they could easily alter at their will with being a little creative with their words and actions (mostly disguised) and gradually the seed of superstition sown in the incised earth of fear sprouted a sapling that eventually grew into a strongly rooted and spread a behemoth: the tree of religion. Why shouldn’t we be demanding alibis (I reckoned it to be the best fit) of events what the ministers of faith call miracles?  Isn’t it only fair that when we are designed to question, we are entitled to answers? Okay, we ate the forbidden fruit and transcended into intelligent life form but then why did we come with an option to upgrade when we were designed to be ignorant dumbfucks till the end of times. Consider seriously what you are succumbing to, a set of beliefs which when questioned give out contradictory answers. I could go on for a considerable amount of time and come up with very amusing and apparent factoids but I guess I would leave it for you to fathom the ramifications and implications and do not forget to – Question everything!

Lucid Much ?

Every time I let words out of my mouth, all I crave for is lucidity. Like why cannot I reach the pinnacle of articulation, maybe lucidity isn’t something that I am concerned about (Not!). You cannot just think that you are capable of dispensing unprecedented wisdom whenever you wish to(capability being a misnomer here, you know when I told you about my incapability of bringing out clarity in my thoughts but believe me they are the metaphorical equivalent of the uncut diamonds I must say, narcissistic much? Cannot actually help it).

Let me just give you an example of a highly approved and consensually accepted piece of uncertain knowledge (no, we won’t be discussing Modern art :/ ). It’s the Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle, now that is a man of clarity and transparent thoughts. As we know most of our Quantum Mechanics is based on hypothetical theories and convincing people to recognize and accept your piece of super-intellectual theory is one tough cookie to break. But the man did it and what he apparently proved was an uncertainty, now don’t just consider the theoretical aspect (I know many of you pedantic asses would without giving a thought jump to that, hold your horses) but what it symbolizes, conjunction of two contradictory words to form an oxymoron (proved uncertainty) which completely changed man’s understanding of the complete working universe and that is where the line of lucidity becomes dull (which has always been thin).

I see lucidity as an answer to the questions and conflicting confabulations that incessantly go on and on in my acorn-sized mind. The very first purpose is that the thirst should be quenched, only after that I could think of observing the reflections: after the ripples have settled down. Most of the times you would find answers that might render your very questions (even purpose of existence) obsolete or redundant.

Unfolding Enigma -" Dazed and Confused"

The mind had always been occupied and involuntary,
mesmerized but here I stand, so acutely mute.
Stance of the heart is now inclement,
but the power of thought rendered incompetent.

Was it known,a mere glare would leave me intoxicated,
would never have touched an effervescent wine,
have witnessed eyes that would narrate tales in a blink
but baffled to see a kind which could melodiously sing.

                                                                                                  

Who won’t adore that petalled , subtle curve of yours,
affixed by the creator, as the last piece of that perfect collage.
Bedazzled must he be left, who is to receive thy smile,
pulse would have skipped a beat but after that left pounding.

 Interpretation of an enigma, is a juvenile thing to do,
what urges me to this relentless pursuit, I don’t have a damn clue.
They tell me, “There is more than what meets the eyes”,
“depends on what you’re trying to find” I just say
Maybe finding a piece of lost bliss, maybe a whole paradise.

a Creature of Impulse!

And “Bam!” came shattering down the window pane. I stood there thinking the consequences of the aftermath and what actually made me do this (didn’t take me much time to conclude that the primary thing to do was absconding). There was no provocation whatsoever, neither there was an explanation that would fit the definition of a cogent justification (anything that I had was that smirk on my face). It was an innocent piece of tinted glass and I ruthlessly bludgeoned it. To be true the moment of impact might have been very much fascinating which unfortunately lasted   brevity. It didn’t involve a bit of sanity, maybe deep down inside I wanted to smash the bloody window (who am I kidding; it had been in mind for months and the golden rule always has been "if there's an itch it would be scratched"). It felt good somehow,”reasons?” – “didn't had any “.

One of the many things about conventions I loathe is that after every action of yours, you are expected to present an explanation (and damn it should be convincing), Why??? After studying science for a significant number of years I decided to switch my stream of study to arts and “Bam!” a ‘Why’ was torpedoed at me. It is just because “I want to”, isn’t that pacifying enough for you Convention Nazis? And even if that is not good enough for you then maybe you should try to get your head out of your butt.

I climbed over the table and started gyrating like ‘what’s his face’, now I cannot give you an explanation( also I do not give a rat’s ass but that is a whole different point) but what I can disclose is that it felt great for some unknown reason and I guess that just explains it. Sometimes, snapping out is quite relieving; trying something different for a change has evidently and statistically been beneficial for people (mostly) may be like a reminder, so that you wouldn’t just take your life for granted. Some kind of divine intervention , an enigmatic force that makes you do things that you wouldn’t even think of doing on a normal day- maybe going up to that cute girl in your college and ask her out for coffee, deliberately bumping the table and watching that vindictive teacher screaming as he holds his crotch. Explanations? Balderdash! But they make you feel good, brings that smile back on your face then I guess that’s what actually matters. Yes, curiosity is good but you should know that everything in life wouldn’t offer you a rational elucidation. Stop looking up for a change and try to savor the elements of surprise, irrationality and delusion, that would be a very profitable pawn for the amount of bliss you could enjoy, rather than being a creature of habit, it would be better to be a Creature of Impulse.

Of God and My Rantings!

What is the whole world and its conventions about? Where are they leading us to? A substantial labyrinth which just keeps on entangling as you grow in time but the question here is, “Is just growing in time enough to justify the life  you spent?”. How do you get to know if your purpose is served or not? “God knows everything,God is omniscient.”, then why don’t  we get to know? Is our existence so plebeian and worthless that we are not even entitled to learn about our own lives? The list would go on and I would still be standing blank here without even a tinge of white over my pitch-black mind.

God to me is the person who controls everything  and still manages to keep it subtle,heights of elusiveness is ’him’ but then why are you under  the hood? Why don’t you just tear out the benign sky and liberate your thunderous rage on the iniquitous? I pacify myself by thinking that maybe  ignorance is actually bliss and he is working in his own mysterious ways. “Ah mortality, you make us believe I a  fruitful grope in these dark ages.”  That is the most fascinating thing about us humans despite of knowing and having a full understanding of things we manage to let ourselves fall into delusion and be contented with our act of escapism.

But God did not design conventions,humans did. We are the ones who have caused the division of society into sects in “his” name. What if the whole world was just one religion or none at all, just envisaging such a world  gets my motor  running, (snapping out!) not feasible right?. If religions about spirituality  and moral conduct then why do the supremos  of religious handling lay so much emphasis  on worldly traits and materialism. If I follow a life of strict moral conduct and lead a life of  stability, then no one should get to decide the definition of blasphemy for me. If I follow my God and his word  then shouldn’t I be entitled to make my life decisions without any kind of interference, be it the choice of my partner or my attire. No one in the world should have he authority of deciding what is right for me and ‘right’ in our world is just a matter of consensus , what we are most comfortable  believing in. We are so engrossed n our self-created bubble that it would be very much dolorous to break out of it. Maybe it is just the right time to come out of delusions and a explore an entirely different dimension of spirituality and then actually see it develop into  a ‘better  tomorrow’.

Strangers in the Night

She thought him to be one of the many lower beings, for him she was just another social experiment, amongst many others in a world of facades.
Then the misconstrued beckoning, the sparks flew and it blazed,
brimming up with effusion that couldn’t be withheld, identical glints and smiles.

Capriciousness has its own perks, lets you experience the sweetest of pangs
turns you delusive, ginormous clanging blades seem as ringing church bells.
Sliding away as the first drop of morning dew on the bracken and into the creek,
not ever to be seen or felt, that indelible sense of dalliance lost in the enormity of the world,

Quelled was he and yet donning that smirk, his eyes gleaming with an unrelenting pursuit,
but adamantly defending her stance she swayed, the clichéd temptress in action.
Resplendent yet warm,like the winter sun you feel it quenching a life-long hanker,
wait through the bone cracking chill that night seemed, much like walking through the spring breeze.

Communing joyride that lasted a brevity,disembarking seemed the most arduous,
but mandatory is by convention for the flings to end,yet imprinted as commemorative this was.
No matter how unachievable they might seem, but chimeras are there for a reason of course,
a moment of sheer bliss, is might even worthy to pawn your soul for.