“Motherfuckers, these sadistic corporate whores”
yelled Mike on the top of his voice, I lay there without even raising a brow as
the fear of him assaulting my time with his rants always remains engrossed
within but still being courteous as I was, I uttered a soft “Why?” and before
those words could leave my mouth he had started-“ Bastards again activated an
unwanted service, this time the devil is ‘Daily Astrology’, firstly who
invented this shit of a science or whatever it is, I had a Maths exam last week
and in the paper it read “you will outshine your counterparts in every field,
today is your day”, Yes, undoubtedly it was my day, but of being brutally
sodomized by an otherwise worthless piece of paper, makes me tremble when I
think of those 3 hours, gave away that evil parchment to bhelpuri wala and
these soul sucking bastards have compelled me to spend 30 bucks on the shit,
Fuck Astrology!, Fuck Vaayutel! , let me call the customer care. Oh! Turns out
I have just one freaking rupee left in my account and these Dementors charge
even for calling the customer services ,can I borrow your phone?”
“When has my denying ever stopped you, go ahead”, I mumbled and went back to savouring the sweet melodies by Advaita. “These people must be having secret tournaments to decide who would make the most complex labyrinth of customer care service , so fucking arduous to get to talk to one of their executives as if they are the fucking Queen of England and we are their petty subjects and now it’s almost been over a minute and this mechanical whore keeps telling me that my call is important to her, then why doesn’t anyone pick up the fucking phone.” Mike kept whining.
“Hello!”
“Yeah , to fuck with your fake gratitude man, jot down my number and tell me why did you steal money from my account ,9876543210.”
“What the fuck man?, The lowlife just hung up on me” ,I shook my head to make him believe that I cared.
“I’m not giving up on this easily ,let me just juice my phone up with adequate moolah and by the time I’m done with them their ears would be regretting that they ever picked my call.”, said Mike with that grin on his face that always makes him look constipated.
After 27 minutes
“Hello, what the fuck you ingrate, one of your Oompa Loompas from your fucking Apokolis hung up on me the last time I called to file a complaint of siphon.”
“Yes, I will lower my tone and be careful with my words when you’ll return my fucking money you son of a bitch”
“Yeah, this is the number I tried filing a complaint about you soulless pederast, I’ll fucking drag your ass to the court and fillet . . . . .. hello? hello?”
“Fucker hung up on me again”, and just as he finished that line , his phone beeped twice indicating the receiving of two consecutive text messages and I still resent that I did not get a camera then and treasured that look on the face of Mike , fumbling , he tried was trying to find solace by grabbing the other end of the couch,and I, out of curiosity snatched the cell-phone away from his hands, there were two messages received in the thread:
“Ithe-uthe,hum hai Kutte by Hiney Singh has been activated as your Ear-tune. You have been charged Rs.60 for the service. Thank You.”
“Thank You for contacting Vaayutel, hope you were satisfied with your interaction with Amit, we at Vaayutel work hard to have your Satisfaction Guaranteed”
I fell off the couch laughing.
“When has my denying ever stopped you, go ahead”, I mumbled and went back to savouring the sweet melodies by Advaita. “These people must be having secret tournaments to decide who would make the most complex labyrinth of customer care service , so fucking arduous to get to talk to one of their executives as if they are the fucking Queen of England and we are their petty subjects and now it’s almost been over a minute and this mechanical whore keeps telling me that my call is important to her, then why doesn’t anyone pick up the fucking phone.” Mike kept whining.
“Hello!”
“Yeah , to fuck with your fake gratitude man, jot down my number and tell me why did you steal money from my account ,9876543210.”
“What the fuck man?, The lowlife just hung up on me” ,I shook my head to make him believe that I cared.
“I’m not giving up on this easily ,let me just juice my phone up with adequate moolah and by the time I’m done with them their ears would be regretting that they ever picked my call.”, said Mike with that grin on his face that always makes him look constipated.
After 27 minutes
“Hello, what the fuck you ingrate, one of your Oompa Loompas from your fucking Apokolis hung up on me the last time I called to file a complaint of siphon.”
“Yes, I will lower my tone and be careful with my words when you’ll return my fucking money you son of a bitch”
“Yeah, this is the number I tried filing a complaint about you soulless pederast, I’ll fucking drag your ass to the court and fillet . . . . .. hello? hello?”
“Fucker hung up on me again”, and just as he finished that line , his phone beeped twice indicating the receiving of two consecutive text messages and I still resent that I did not get a camera then and treasured that look on the face of Mike , fumbling , he tried was trying to find solace by grabbing the other end of the couch,and I, out of curiosity snatched the cell-phone away from his hands, there were two messages received in the thread:
“Ithe-uthe,hum hai Kutte by Hiney Singh has been activated as your Ear-tune. You have been charged Rs.60 for the service. Thank You.”
“Thank You for contacting Vaayutel, hope you were satisfied with your interaction with Amit, we at Vaayutel work hard to have your Satisfaction Guaranteed”
I fell off the couch laughing.
