Unfolding Enigma -" Dazed and Confused"

The mind had always been occupied and involuntary,
mesmerized but here I stand, so acutely mute.
Stance of the heart is now inclement,
but the power of thought rendered incompetent.

Was it known,a mere glare would leave me intoxicated,
would never have touched an effervescent wine,
have witnessed eyes that would narrate tales in a blink
but baffled to see a kind which could melodiously sing.

                                                                                                  

Who won’t adore that petalled , subtle curve of yours,
affixed by the creator, as the last piece of that perfect collage.
Bedazzled must he be left, who is to receive thy smile,
pulse would have skipped a beat but after that left pounding.

 Interpretation of an enigma, is a juvenile thing to do,
what urges me to this relentless pursuit, I don’t have a damn clue.
They tell me, “There is more than what meets the eyes”,
“depends on what you’re trying to find” I just say
Maybe finding a piece of lost bliss, maybe a whole paradise.

a Creature of Impulse!

And “Bam!” came shattering down the window pane. I stood there thinking the consequences of the aftermath and what actually made me do this (didn’t take me much time to conclude that the primary thing to do was absconding). There was no provocation whatsoever, neither there was an explanation that would fit the definition of a cogent justification (anything that I had was that smirk on my face). It was an innocent piece of tinted glass and I ruthlessly bludgeoned it. To be true the moment of impact might have been very much fascinating which unfortunately lasted   brevity. It didn’t involve a bit of sanity, maybe deep down inside I wanted to smash the bloody window (who am I kidding; it had been in mind for months and the golden rule always has been "if there's an itch it would be scratched"). It felt good somehow,”reasons?” – “didn't had any “.

One of the many things about conventions I loathe is that after every action of yours, you are expected to present an explanation (and damn it should be convincing), Why??? After studying science for a significant number of years I decided to switch my stream of study to arts and “Bam!” a ‘Why’ was torpedoed at me. It is just because “I want to”, isn’t that pacifying enough for you Convention Nazis? And even if that is not good enough for you then maybe you should try to get your head out of your butt.

I climbed over the table and started gyrating like ‘what’s his face’, now I cannot give you an explanation( also I do not give a rat’s ass but that is a whole different point) but what I can disclose is that it felt great for some unknown reason and I guess that just explains it. Sometimes, snapping out is quite relieving; trying something different for a change has evidently and statistically been beneficial for people (mostly) may be like a reminder, so that you wouldn’t just take your life for granted. Some kind of divine intervention , an enigmatic force that makes you do things that you wouldn’t even think of doing on a normal day- maybe going up to that cute girl in your college and ask her out for coffee, deliberately bumping the table and watching that vindictive teacher screaming as he holds his crotch. Explanations? Balderdash! But they make you feel good, brings that smile back on your face then I guess that’s what actually matters. Yes, curiosity is good but you should know that everything in life wouldn’t offer you a rational elucidation. Stop looking up for a change and try to savor the elements of surprise, irrationality and delusion, that would be a very profitable pawn for the amount of bliss you could enjoy, rather than being a creature of habit, it would be better to be a Creature of Impulse.

Of God and My Rantings!

What is the whole world and its conventions about? Where are they leading us to? A substantial labyrinth which just keeps on entangling as you grow in time but the question here is, “Is just growing in time enough to justify the life  you spent?”. How do you get to know if your purpose is served or not? “God knows everything,God is omniscient.”, then why don’t  we get to know? Is our existence so plebeian and worthless that we are not even entitled to learn about our own lives? The list would go on and I would still be standing blank here without even a tinge of white over my pitch-black mind.

God to me is the person who controls everything  and still manages to keep it subtle,heights of elusiveness is ’him’ but then why are you under  the hood? Why don’t you just tear out the benign sky and liberate your thunderous rage on the iniquitous? I pacify myself by thinking that maybe  ignorance is actually bliss and he is working in his own mysterious ways. “Ah mortality, you make us believe I a  fruitful grope in these dark ages.”  That is the most fascinating thing about us humans despite of knowing and having a full understanding of things we manage to let ourselves fall into delusion and be contented with our act of escapism.

But God did not design conventions,humans did. We are the ones who have caused the division of society into sects in “his” name. What if the whole world was just one religion or none at all, just envisaging such a world  gets my motor  running, (snapping out!) not feasible right?. If religions about spirituality  and moral conduct then why do the supremos  of religious handling lay so much emphasis  on worldly traits and materialism. If I follow a life of strict moral conduct and lead a life of  stability, then no one should get to decide the definition of blasphemy for me. If I follow my God and his word  then shouldn’t I be entitled to make my life decisions without any kind of interference, be it the choice of my partner or my attire. No one in the world should have he authority of deciding what is right for me and ‘right’ in our world is just a matter of consensus , what we are most comfortable  believing in. We are so engrossed n our self-created bubble that it would be very much dolorous to break out of it. Maybe it is just the right time to come out of delusions and a explore an entirely different dimension of spirituality and then actually see it develop into  a ‘better  tomorrow’.

Strangers in the Night

She thought him to be one of the many lower beings, for him she was just another social experiment, amongst many others in a world of facades.
Then the misconstrued beckoning, the sparks flew and it blazed,
brimming up with effusion that couldn’t be withheld, identical glints and smiles.

Capriciousness has its own perks, lets you experience the sweetest of pangs
turns you delusive, ginormous clanging blades seem as ringing church bells.
Sliding away as the first drop of morning dew on the bracken and into the creek,
not ever to be seen or felt, that indelible sense of dalliance lost in the enormity of the world,

Quelled was he and yet donning that smirk, his eyes gleaming with an unrelenting pursuit,
but adamantly defending her stance she swayed, the clichéd temptress in action.
Resplendent yet warm,like the winter sun you feel it quenching a life-long hanker,
wait through the bone cracking chill that night seemed, much like walking through the spring breeze.

Communing joyride that lasted a brevity,disembarking seemed the most arduous,
but mandatory is by convention for the flings to end,yet imprinted as commemorative this was.
No matter how unachievable they might seem, but chimeras are there for a reason of course,
a moment of sheer bliss, is might even worthy to pawn your soul for.

If Only, But it Isn't

‘If’ I were a werewolf, I would have totally eviscerated each of the ‘already dead’ body parts out of Edward Cullen (no, he is not a fucking fairy, period!) with my fangs and end this tale forever ‘but’, unfortunately I’m not a werewolf neither am I Stephanie Meyer (I would have been benign enough to spare the world otherwise). What ‘if’ I could fly and could move at the speeds of lightning, don a gaudy facade, and destroy buildings with my laser-beamy eyes (Yea, I am the anti-hero kind, suck on that JLA) ‘but’ there is no chance in a billion that fantasy could be materialized.

‘If’ and ‘but’ are the two enchantments that act as a bridge between dreams and hope where ’if’ is an open doorway to the magical lands of escapism and ‘but’ acts as the dead- end- cliff  which lands you back into the world of reality. Each of us are entitled to have dreams and it’s so pleasant and heart-warming  to watch yourself taking the wand of command and whipping the ass of reality juxtapose causing a significant amount of  annoyance with your snores. The beauty of these two words very much self-evident by how they guide our travels to the clock-cuckoo-land. It is like the time when you are suffering from a mighty of an impact that has your soul shaken, that is where ‘ if’ comes into play and acts as a cool soothing breeze that someone would wish for amidst the scorching summer sun, like  the first gleam of the warm winter sun after the dark cold night. Then comes along ‘but’, putting an end to all the fantasies and pulling down all castles you built mid-air but then someone/something has to do it, very much mandatory. Yes, you fell, maybe even scraped your knee a little, you cannot just lie there thinking and cursing your decision of jumping over the hurdle rather than going besides it ‘but’ you need to dust yourself off and move on with your life( you know what I am trying to point out with all this lame metaphorical shit).

Both are essential and somehow complete each other in the run, wouldn’t life be dull without them, how many ‘if only’ moments pass throughout the day (you may also include your masturbatory fantasies) and simultaneously crushed by ‘but’ in a cruel fashion for good but there are certain ‘if’s that escape the wrath of ‘but’ and evolve into a reality of magnificence and people certainly do end up “living their dream”.

X+Y Chronicles: Origin of the Nemesis

There  is a very noticeable thing about the things you hate in life- they never tend to cease popping up. All these years,I have tried to abscond its presence,many a times successfully but yet it somehow manages to creep back int my life like how a Komodo monitor hunts( It thrusts its fangs into the body of its prey and thus begins a relentless pursuit till the slow yet malignant venom squeezes the life out of the poor being). It’s my ultimate nemesis,as to Superman is Darkseid, to Batman is the Joker, to Wolverine is Sabertooth, to Women is Silence and to Charles is ‘Mathematics’.


And to be true it is vindictive as hell and you better trust me on that. It has been after my peace of mind since I hit adolescence(before tat everything is actually a blur except one incident). As far as I am able to recall,our rivalry goes back to the days of our formal introduction. It was in its most elementary of form like a cute little bear cub which seems harmless(at first!) and I was a 70-80 cm,booger dripping,goofy figure who thought he could chase the wind and bottle it someday( I actually tried it once in the kindergarten and fell flat-faced on the concrete floor and realized “Wind can fly!” , I guess that was my very first moment of epiphany).

Every hostility begins somewhere,it has to have a point of Origin, its not like one fine morning you woke up(in Germany) and felt like waging a war against the States and went with the idea. Ours began when an incident took place that changed my entire physical universe, metamorphisized it into a burning labyrinth of twine. It was fine till we were dealing with numbers but then one  dark afternoon they introduced me to ‘the SUM’ and the graphite in m pencil etched the first of the many blunders to come in future              2 + 2= 5 (and I also licked the notebook for some reason that is yet under the layers of enigma) and thus began a never-ending conflict between  ‘it’ and me(I believe that iterating its name only makes it stronger,”you know who!”). I know it is still smirking under the cover of ‘Sequential Algebra’  while I frown. Never goes a day when we don't try to establish an eternal dominance over each other and put an end to it for once and for all but it never ends. . . . .. .               “Some battles you win,some battles you lose.”

On being Gay

And now if you are here in hopes of finding some sort of ridicule or scorn against the community then you might be facing disappointment. The clichéd question here is about being right or wrong but the question itself does not hold much amount of validity if we carefully look into the generally accepted theorem of “freedom of choice”(on an unrelated topic most of the our problems are of self-contradictory nature). I personally think that anyone should not be held accountable for anything more than crossing the thresholds of mortal sin.

       “It wouldn’t have been fair to all you guys out there, if I weren’t gay”- Neil Patrick Harris

As an individual each is entitled to his/her own opinions and if the person is willing to lead  a satisfactory life(their hypothesis) based on their choices and decisions coming after then I do not see any problem in all. The only problem seen is the fact of not falling into the consensus but then, how does an individual’s personal life or sexual orientation anyhow affects  the  contribution he is making  towards his  community/country/world/humanity ?

As far as the debate about the “bad influence” is concerned, the human race has been bestowed upon with the gift of rationality “try using it for a change”. On a personal thought I don’t think people are born gay (I think it’s a matter of choice and people should come forward feel proud about the choices they made, it is your fucking life after all) but even if they aren’t who are you or I to judge or interfere? Now you cannot make laws against people just for the matter of fact that it grosses you out or any other lame excuse, people will do what they want then why keeping it under the hood. Suppression and flogging leads to rebellion and this is not just for the state, it applies to all of us, what we need here to broaden our perspective and view it in a better light. If you think choosing the consensual ‘sexual partner’ makes you better then I feel pity for you.

If God has blessed you with a genetalia and sent you to this earth to roam about and have a life then you can stick it wherever you want and have it stuck wherever you want without being ‘anal’ytical. (and this goes out for every newt out there)So, screw the hypocritical world as it’s not going anywhere and nor are the people who live in certain delusions and if you keep thinking about right or wrong, you might lose your chance on happiness.