“Chutiya Banata Hai!”

It was one of those bumpy back-to-home rides on one of those bouncy castles popularly known as the U.P. Roadways (the buses). I had my earphones shoved into my ears and savoring the voice of Jim Morrison, enters a staggering figure and spots the only vacant seat in the bus, “light my fire” was interrupted by the descending tushie of his on my lap, his breath reeking of cheap liquor(Yes, I can make out the difference), I somehow helped him settle on the seat adjacent to mine, he spent a major part of his journey mumbling expletives against his wife, mostly low fidelity issues , but then in the last quarter hour all of a sudden he sits up to the sight of a aloo-tikki stall and starts obtrusively -“Ye saala tikki waala sabko chutiya banata hai, shudh desi ghee ki tikkiya,iske baap ne bhi sungha h desi ghee???(I wanted to say “how would I know” but kept mum), saale 600 rupaiye/kg hai, Dalda me desi ghee ki khusboo milake bechta hai(that is technically the scent of desi ghee right), aaj ki duniya me ek aadmi 100 logo ka chutiya banata hai”(he accused that particular tikki waala of making a fool out of everyone by using adulterated ghee), I simply nodded and smiled by the time I reached for my bag pack and had a sip of water he was “down” again.
Now we know how much these colorful festivals are celebrated and relished in our country and so are these drool-enhancing sweets and other fancy eatables which are an inseparable part of these extravagant events. The words of the “drunk uncle” were echoing in my mind while I was trying to pop-in one of those white rasgullas Dad brought home the other night, the thing is everything we eat is adulterated, these soulless selfish bastards have figured out new and innovative ways to deceive the common man of his health and money, be it sweets, milk, veggies, even fruits. He also mentioned that in the present times, one has to be deceptive and sly to make things work and attain a sustainable monetary state, maybe a very cogent statement and very insightful, but then most of the people turn into profound orators after ethyl alcohol acts upon them.

He also mentioned that you need to have a lot of gall to pull off something like that, “Beta, in today’s world if you can speak intelligent shit and defecate people out (I am still trying to figure this one out), you will be the one ruling the world”. Now what it depicts is the angle from which the common man views his problems and he doesn’t even want to eradicate it, he is advertising it (the wrong ideas) and would gladly do it, if given a chance. It is factual that every consumable item is infected with adulterants and its people like the “drunken uncle” who are doing it, what we need to work on is our basic principles on the grass root levels of our conscience and set them straight, it may take a lot of gall to do wrong but it takes a lot more courage to choose what is actually right and publish it.

P.S.- be careful while picking up one of those deceiving, palatable thingies this festive season, they may seem like mesmerizing mermaids but are actually blood-thirsty nymphs in disguise.